
A parenting style focused on control and fear, stressing that a child needs to toe the line all the time, undermines their feeling of safety. If you provide a dramatic volatile response the child shifts their attention to parents behaviour rather than focusing on their own.

This can be thought of as an internal goal as not visible but potentially useful later in a variety of situations, allowing them to overcome frustrations, and emotional storms that might make them lose control. The more long-term goal focuses on instructing your children in ways that develop skills and their capacity to resiliently handle challenging inevitable situations. Short term your aim is often to get your child to stop doing what they are doing or start something, obtaining their cooperation, this can be thought of as the external goal.


In the English language the word “discipline” comes from the word “to teach”, remember this so you can think of reframe disciplining to teaching.
